Of coarse that would be found in my comments section of my last post. How sane and convenient.;)
Pls note. I have no time frame for this weight loss.. So pls don't start looking me up and down.
I had forgotten that people could be so rude/crude/sneaky/meanBut you reminded me.And so I saidI wish you and the girls only the very best in the futureThat's what I saidBut what else I could have addedIs that it's just a WishIt's not something I actually see occurringI don't see how they could possibly receive the bestWhen your choices for themAre consistentlyFlippant and unhealthyIn fact I have rarely seen children so unkeptSo forgottenI see it in their own eyesIt's so sad.I'm sad.Sort of mad.Sort of relieved.Sort of stressed.
Today sort of went like this:WhizzoooBusy and zoo likeAnd ended like this::(When after every thing that I think and say and do for my daughterTonight, after an argumentAnd cryingAnd discussingShe says through tears"I don't feel loved in this family"I'm like. Wow.That sucks.Because I understandI understandThat sometimes Love is hard to understandIt's hard to understandThat we can be loved and yet not get what we wantWe can be lovedAnd make people madWe can be loved and be disciplined It's something that I myself have struggled withI have often even wondered in times of difficulty if God loves meI know I spent a lot of my childhood feeling "unloved"But it's so sadIf this is how humans feel that are being lovedHow do the humans feel that Arnt being loved?I know she is just tired and feeling overwhelmed But I also know that in that instantThe feeling of being unlovedIs very veryReal.And it's very very hard on me.Who thinks and cares about my daughter constantlyWho tells her constantly that she is LovedIn fact I pray almost daily that she would feel "safe and loved"Am I always perfect and patientNoDo I failYesBut to have the one human that I love so muchSay they don't feel loved Is sort of like a kick in the guts.It's funnyCause today I was finally going to blog about my birth story with herAnd how BIG it was. And how YouWillNeverGetIt it wasAnd how I knewWho she wasAlreadyJust like this TodayShe is the sameMy daughterSkin of my SkinBone of my BonesFear like my Fear
Can anyone help me with this techno caos?