I had forgotten that people could be so rude/crude/sneaky/mean But you reminded me. And so I said I wish you and the girls only the very best in the future That's what I said But what else I could have added Is that it's just a Wish It's not something I actually see occurring I don't see how they could possibly receive the best When your choices for them Are consistently Flippant and unhealthy In fact I have rarely seen children so unkept So forgotten I see it in their own eyes It's so sad. I'm sad. Sort of mad. Sort of relieved. Sort of stressed.
Today sort of went like this: Whizzooo Busy and zoo like And ended like this: :( When after every thing that I think and say and do for my daughter Tonight, after an argument And crying And discussing She says through tears "I don't feel loved in this family" I'm like. Wow. That sucks. Because I understand I understand That sometimes Love is hard to understand It's hard to understand That we can be loved and yet not get what we want We can be loved And make people mad We can be loved and be disciplined It's something that I myself have struggled with I have often even wondered in times of difficulty if God loves me I know I spent a lot of my childhood feeling "unloved" But it's so sad If this is how humans feel that are being loved How do the humans feel that Arnt being loved? I know she is just tired and feeling overwhelmed But I also know that in that instant The feeling of being unloved Is very very Real. And it's very very hard on me. Who thinks and cares about my daughter constantly Who tells her constantly that she is Loved In fact I pray almost daily that she would feel "safe and loved" Am I always perfect and patient No Do I fail Yes But to have the one human that I love so much Say they don't feel loved Is sort of like a kick in the guts.
It's funny Cause today I was finally going to blog about my birth story with her And how BIG it was. And how YouWillNeverGetIt it was And how I knew Who she was Already Just like this Today She is the same My daughter Skin of my Skin Bone of my Bones Fear like my Fear
Of coarse that would be found in my comments section of my last post. How sane and convenient.;)
ReplyDeletePls note. I have no time frame for this weight loss.. So pls don't start looking me up and down.
ReplyDeleteI had forgotten that people could be so rude/crude/sneaky/mean
ReplyDeleteBut you reminded me.
And so I said
I wish you and the girls only the very best in the future
That's what I said
But what else I could have added
Is that it's just a Wish
It's not something I actually see occurring
I don't see how they could possibly receive the best
When your choices for them
Are consistently
Flippant and unhealthy
In fact I have rarely seen children so unkept
So forgotten
I see it in their own eyes
It's so sad.
I'm sad.
Sort of mad.
Sort of relieved.
Sort of stressed.
Today sort of went like this:
ReplyDeleteWhizzooo
Busy and zoo like
And ended like this:
:(
When after every thing that I think and say and do for my daughter
Tonight, after an argument
And crying
And discussing
She says through tears
"I don't feel loved in this family"
I'm like. Wow.
That sucks.
Because I understand
I understand
That sometimes Love is hard to understand
It's hard to understand
That we can be loved and yet not get what we want
We can be loved
And make people mad
We can be loved and be disciplined
It's something that I myself have struggled with
I have often even wondered in times of difficulty if God loves me
I know I spent a lot of my childhood feeling "unloved"
But it's so sad
If this is how humans feel that are being loved
How do the humans feel that Arnt being loved?
I know she is just tired and feeling overwhelmed
But I also know that in that instant
The feeling of being unloved
Is very very
Real.
And it's very very hard on me.
Who thinks and cares about my daughter constantly
Who tells her constantly that she is Loved
In fact I pray almost daily that she would feel "safe and loved"
Am I always perfect and patient
No
Do I fail
Yes
But to have the one human that I love so much
Say they don't feel loved
Is sort of like a kick in the guts.
It's funny
Cause today I was finally going to blog about my birth story with her
And how BIG it was. And how YouWillNeverGetIt it was
And how I knew
Who she was
Already
Just like this
Today
She is the same
My daughter
Skin of my Skin
Bone of my Bones
Fear like my Fear
Can anyone help me with this techno caos?
ReplyDelete