I'm sorry. I am so sad today. Someone I know ended their life. Someone who had a lot of self inflicted misery- misery nonethe less. I am so sad for those who were closer to him. His children especially. It's hard enough I am sure being close to someone with so many demons; but so much more I am sure when hope is gone and the final stamp was so depressing. I am regretful as I of coarse wonder if I could have done something from afar. I am sad because this person had every opportunity to have found joy and happiness in the Light. I am so sad. The last funeral Scott and I went to was a suicide of a young relative on my husbands side. And so I am thinking today about sad people in the world. Hiding behind happy faces on facebook, hiding behind drugs and alcohol, hiding behind blame, suffering in self loathing, strangled by fear, over whelmed by lifes mistakes. I am so sorry for the sorrow you bear. I am so sorry you feel so alone....
A wise woman told me once the reason she said yes to doing Gods Will, was because she was afraid of where her "No" would take her.


In my spirit That visceral place and extension of self The wide winged home for the Holy I have discovered found and known;fallen upon, stumbled upon, wonderously without a doubt, Touched the Living Spirit of the One; been taught by, comforted from, oil of gladness running over, sure blessing bubbling up. In my most ugly and desperate lonely moments of human truth, I have found the Rock. The Peace. The One. The invisible one is so visible now. So clear. Richness. Piles of it. I sit and count. I count and count. There is no end to the counting. This is what I have found. Was given. For some reason. The sound of the Word vibrates sweet within Me. My smallness, human ness, makes it hard to tell and dispel, this exact thing so vague and personal. I want to give.
15 Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. 17 And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.