have i mentioned

that my job is soo awesome
and really i'm not just saying that.
i was told,
i am there for funk value
some leaves are still green when they fall off the tree

you know you are a nut bar when

you go into your friends MSN account and FB account
behind their back

not a project person

some people always have a project
maybe because they like that
maybe because they are afraid of stopping
i am usually running from projects
but latley
projects and I are friends
and we are dancing around
and enjoying one another
to be too busy
is a spiritual problem
we heard
i am copying what i read on someone elses recent blog
that essentially
it is impossible to please everyone
so instead we need to only make sure
that we have peace
we are living our peace

this time

the nurse
said exactly what i wanted to hear
she said
you gotta do what you gotta do, and
you will know when to change
ah, thank you
she was a mother as well
Are we
willing to do the Will of God
live the Word
in everyway?

orange wall of fire

is complete
and somehow
makes my house
feel like my home


my daughter is at the Teddy Stage
must have teddy
must kiss teddy
must sleep with teddy
rock teddy nighnigh


with 12 -8 year old boys
at 10 AM

there is this girl

that i never see or talk to
like maybe once every 4 years
and everytime i talk to her
this chick is hilarious
really really hilarious
love those people

master orange

trying to get the shade
of perfection
for the living room wall


got new fab job
clay painting with kids
sounds good to me

things i don't get

i don't get
that people like riding their bikes
i don't like it at all

i don't get
that people like to golf
i don't get it

all my leisure activities are leisure
there is no work or skill required
in any of my enjoyable activities

things that make me feel good regardless

morning smoothie
a walk in the shade
my morning coffee

kenny had it right

you gotta know when to hold em
know when to fold em
know when to walk away
know when to run
waves go up and down
seasons come in and out
some days are really super
others heavier
cornucopia of life
is all i've ever known
and believe it's

thank you

for the sweet peas
clothes and Vietnamese cuisine,
for your effort to me;
despite our unfortunate commonalities
you are a friend

when to stop

when we know someone is having a difficult time
busy and struggling
and we call and call
and call
and sometimes get through
but never get our calls returned
even though we love this person
when do we stop?
do we?


does anyone want to pay me
1500 bucks a month
just to exist?


I could be your muse?


I can't stand this spelling
of the word
your or
it's so

am i the last to know?

that in order to actually absorb Iron
we need to take it with Vitamin C

and Ditto Bvits and Calcium

The Lion and the Lamb

I think it is a good thing
if both of these
live within us
and lead at the appropriate time

Sometimes we think that only a Lamb is necessary
but I beg to differ
Lions have their place


our insides are the same
we have a heart and guts

we heard

goliath was big with a small heart
david was small with a big heart

the battle of the bangs

you probably know
i was fighting a battle
the battle of the bangs
wanting them
but staving off the wretched desire
i lost the battle in early July
and since then
i am reminded daily as to why
i should never have got them in the first place
right now i am at the bobbypin all the time stage
only worsened by the fact
the bangs are growing
thus creating a rather interesting rooster effect on the top of my head

ah. bliss

clarify the cigarette comment

i think smoking is pretty gross
for obvious reasons
and smokers breath is equally gross
as is smokers stinky clothes, hair, and home
not to mention it is an expensive luxury
like maybe quit smoking and save a starving child
i totally get it
and i totally get why people do it
and i totally know why they can't stop

I was a smoker
the kind that likes smoking and intends on smoking forever
much to my mothers dismay as she offered to pay me $1,000.00 to quit
which I ignored
I was a smoker
until things changed

and so, I get it
but it's not proper
and maybe even worse

tough old bird

a term referring to
usually a strong older women
who is sometimes overly abrasive and aggressive

I know a few

one comes to mind- my greatgrandmother on my dads side
widow twice- and both while relatively young
leaving her and her 10 children to run a farm
during the depression
while wild Indians(forgive the term)
would beg for food out the back door
and she would throw them scraps in the winter
when kittens and puppies were drowned to death
to spare them starvation
when literally a hunk of coal was given for christmas
when the death of the spouse meant relief from childbirth and physical abuse

these realities
one becomes a tough old bird
and how well, my grandma too became a tough old bird
and so knowing apples and trees like to stay close together
I hope that if I am ever tough
it is only for good
and well balanced
with a large dose of mercy and sweet

radish anyone?

so I eat basically everything
including -like today I had Kraft Dinner
and no, I don't read the ingredients
but I do make myself feel better by adding
broccoli and cottage cheese
and finishing it off with a splendid

actually, I hope nothing is wrong with me
cause I have been craving radishes like crazy
and eating swarms of them
and it leaves a nice after taste
much like a cigarette- )

This is the whole reason I wanted to Blog in the first place

I wanted to Blog
because i wanted to talk about
childbirth and afterhours of childbirth
but I have yet to have the words or clarity of thought
to say just the right thing
so I'm gonna just say something

I do not know what your experience was like
and you do not know what mine was like
you don't know

Sometimes what mercy is - is showing kindness support and gentleness even and especially when we don't understand why or what the needy one needs

personal opinion about names for children

everyone has some idea of the perfect name for their children
and i am sure we don't all agree on what is perfect or appropriate or proper- ahem

so i will gently say
why name your child after something that has negative connotations?

you know what
i'm chickening out of this Blog
I am gonna drop out of this
before I offend someone


speaking of spell check- i can never for the life of me figure out how to spell definetly- definetley-definetly - deffinetly-
did you all know alot is spelled a lot
why do i care?

there is a person

A person who recently entered my life and I really want her to like me and my daughter
and I am afraid that she won't
But I like her
so hopefully that counts for something

neglecting my duties and blogging about shoes

Has anyone noticed that I have not worn highheels for more then 5 minutes since I had my child.
I have
I have noticed that my Birks live on my feet and the tan lines prove it
I have noticed that somehow I have convinced myself that every outfit goes with Birks

But for some reason on Sunday I had some courage
and I wore heels-Gasp
and I was reminded as to why silly women do this almost everywhere
my legs looked better
my outfit looked better
and people were nice to me ())
no really- I even got compliments on my sallyanne handmedown makeshift outfit
-because of
the Heels
and so I am passing on my discovery for the few women left on the planet
who may not have come to this conclusion
Pumps look good
and so maybe sometime next year I will wear them again

Dear Diaper Fairy

Why was my daughters diaper on crooked today in church?
Why did she pee all over me, and why O why
did it run down my leg?

K- as in Okay

I can spell if I want to
I can use capitals if I want to
I can use spell check
I can use commas and semi-colons properly to my hearts desire
I know when to use italics usually

but sometimes I am having a dumb day or a lazy day- or the usual- I just don't care

But, I am now realizing sadly that many people cannot spell or punctuate
even if they graduated from highschool
(its all making sense now as i write this- i didn't actually learn this stuff in highschool, I learned it out of fear and desperation in university when I was over my head early on)
I am aghast at the spelling of would-be job holders on Kijiji!
Goodness- no you can't be my nanny- you can't even spell!

Now lets not be proud and snotty here people
I have scads of leeway(sp?)) for busy mothers and pregnant women
I just think if you are actually looking for employment that maybe you would want to appear well versed or atleast mainstream.

so speaking of art

i have a passion
for something i have never done
(i think thats pretty common)

I deeply desire to make stain glass art projects that dangle from the ceiling

maybe someday

right now i just need a job)


Proper is an old word that I have been using a lot to describe something that is Right(in my eyes) but not necessarily in the spiritual sense ie.

It might not be a sin to forget to recycle but it's not Proper
It might not be a sin to not call someone back but it's not Proper
It might not be a sin to eat only microwaveable meals but it's not Proper

I would not consider myself a particularly Proper person
but I do seem to have my Proper boundaries

Like when an 8 year old is rude to their parents friends -that is not Proper
Or when someone leaves their car lights on and we don't tell them- that is not Proper
Or not going to the dentist for a decade- not Proper

I am starting to laugh at myself now thinking of how many things that I do that many people would find very improper...

boots that go over the knee

are so in
and super interesting to look at
and might come in handy with a skirt
but are they too sleazy?
maybe flat brown ones would be ok


so there is this house i have been lusting after
in an amazing location
small and french and gorgeous
and today was the Grande Opening
and -not like I have any training in Design-
but whoever clothed this beautiful architectural specimen
did a terrible job
and totally missed the point and plan of the actual design of the home
AHHHHHHHHHHggGG! total let down
just because 'modern' sounds cool- doesn't make it the best style choice
in fact I would dare say 'modern' design is often novice and boring
hello suburban builders

update on Organic Milk

too expensive
tastes gross

the fall is coming

september september
we all remember

longer shadows
winds that bite
angled sunshine
shiny moon
better sleeps
loving to do nothing
nothing but wander
up the street and back

themost wonderful place on earth

is the farmers market sans the coffee
loove it! looove it!
want to live there
and listen to the wooden flute
and pet the oversized dog
and eat the oversized peaches
and smile modestly at the Hutterites
what you love
is not always
what is good


is a neo term
for a neo type
of lady stuck
two roads of travel

be different

be nice

i heard that said once
be different be nice
and i am starting to see
that it is rare and wonderful
to know people
who are consistently


sounds like fun
except when you must pay for something

fret not

when making Curry
without plain yogurt
feel free to use vanilla yogurt
it tastes great