does anyone else find this Mormon thing going on in BC a little disturbing?
2 products that should be removed from the shelves

Dasani- I hope everyone actually knows that this "water" includes sodium... what a joke! doesn't that defeat the purpose of water itself.

Diet Coke/Diet Pepsi- OK so nooo offense here... but from my little experience on the earth- i have found a way too tight correlation between people that are obese and people that are addicted to one of these products. i am telling you there is something wrong with this stuff. Just today i was cleaning out a suite of 2 very young and very unhealthy people who had in the past week scarfed down over 20 cans of the stuff.

can it be?

2 days ago i saw blue river running
yesterday i saw a robin and a fly
today i see a lot of brown grass
is this for real?

if you have never lived in a cold climate like Canada
you have no idea what the beginning of spring is like
it's dreamy wonderbliss

just say no

i know it's tempting at the beginning of spring to roll down your car window and appreciate the breeze.
do not attempt this act on deerfoot trail
i once had to learn this the hard way
i am saving you the pain of a rock in the eye
just say no

how pregnancy conflicts with work

it's not that i can't do the work
i just can't do as much

it goes like this

daughter- "mom your getting fat"
daughter- "mom, your getting fat"
me- "yes, darling- that's because their is a baby growing inside of me"
daughter- "wow- we are going to need 2 toothbrushes"
me- "yes- you are right"

so that's the latest folks
i was sort of dreading telling people
in fear that every one would think i had lost my marbles
considering that rather fluctuate nature of my family thus far
but so far 90% of the people i have told have been really really nice and happy and encouraging.
so actually, i just want to thank you for being kind and encouraging
because one thing that is really difficult is being in a situation like mine
and feeling/knowing all of your support group thinks you are wayy offf base..
that would suck right now.

i also wanted to let the cat out of the bag because I am getting fat. and I will get fatter
and it is really hard on ones self esteem when one gets fat. but it is especially difficult when people assume it is because you had too many brownies.
and i have had too many brownies. why? because i am hungry. and for all those people who don't get fat when they are pregnant.
i salute you. i am happy for you. to not have to deal with the extra pounds post baby.

my pregnancy hunger is no joke and the only remedy is food.
be nice...
there is this chick who blogs and right now is doing a "style challenge" and it is very entertaining. i wish all my friends posted every day with their personal style challenge. there is nothing so complex as female attire. an outfit requires a full blend from top to bottom. not to mention all the under bits that must coencide- like tights, undies, (you get the picture). my style got real simple when i realized that i only wanedt to wear moc boots in the winter and birks in the summer. can't mix a whole lot of style diversity with those options. no prep, no chic, no biker, no girly girl.. just um i'm trying to think of a style word to describe me... pretty basic. everything comfortable all the time, with a whimsy of 1974.

one thing that is really challenging is when ones body changes.. like weight loss or gain. all of a sudden your wardrobe becomes a stranger. that can be difficult. or if the season changes really fast like it did this fall. like summer/winter... you start looking for whoolies and you don't even know where they are in your closet. i also find jackets difficult. i personally disdain heavy covers- i think they make my back sore. but what do you do in the winter? i really don't like staticy(is that a word) jackets. i also really have a problem when people wear a short jacket over a long sweater... what are they sappose to do.. go and get a new jacket for every sweater they have? i know it's silly. it just doesn't seem right in my mind. anyway.

forward march in the style battles ladies! :)
i'm thinking of you

this is how cheap i am
i am so cheap
that i wear denim long jean shorts in the winter with leg warmers
instead of buying new jeans
nice one self
way to be cheap
to share your opinion. your truth. your experience. to defend yourself. to shed light.
or to shut your mouth. which is better?
does it help to try and share?
is it better to smile and nod?

to shut your mouth or open your mouth

that is the question


i am really feeling bad for the Japanese people.
i am feeling like my last post was not clear.
because what I know is even if you are not right now on a pathway of need, you probably at one point will discover that path- thats all i wanted to add.
i just sent a really strong email in return to a strong email.
i wanted to say thanks for my nice birthday.

a broken and a contrite heart

someone said yesterday eve to me
what do you feel inside?
why do you come to bible study and church
she asked because
all she knew is that she felt happy
and well, I was sort of aghast.
not that I think it is wrong to feel happy
I think that is great
that you know that going and partaking of this fellowship makes you happy
and that's good enough for you.
but I was like
um.- I feel a desperate fear of losing vision tomorrow and so I cleave today
and I think she thought that I was crazy
what I really wanted to say
I feel a desperate need to know the Holy Spirit, to hear the voice to me, to learn in fellowship, to gain peace and comfort and strength because we never know what is on the horizon. I fear God.
that is what I wished I said.
but my real thoughts on this topic are
do some people not feel their need?
and if they don't feel their need
isn't that dangerous?
Wasn't Jesus and God(in the OT) always seeking only those who were broken and contrite in themselves, and who felt their need. Weren't they always interested in the beggers. not those who are whole, but those who are sick?
Truly I am not trying to sound high and mighty here folks, I just don't get how any human person does not feel a desperate need to be close to God. don't people fear? don't people want peace? don't people pray? are people not aware of their sin? do people really feel sufficient in themselves?
truth is- i don't care what good thing brings you to want to read and pray and have fellowship- but the road I have always walked is the road of Need.
Self sufficient I am not.

her first hair cut- age 3

yesterday on the news I read that Christians around the world were celebrating Ash Wednesday.
and I was like
"I am"?
I should be working and scrubbing and snorting bleach right now,
but instead i am sitting and digesting
and even fantasizing about a nap