long hair

is beautiful usually,
and sortof difficult to maintain I am finding
don't want it up- don't want it down

i am jealous(is that the word) of my longhaired counter parts who have come up with a consistent 'doo'
always looking together and maintained
but doesn't it hurt your scalp when its up all the time?

My hair looks good from a far- a far away place
but keep away or you will find
waves, knots, straight, soft, rough, spazz, flat head

its my own private drama going on right here on top of my head!


in many societies blue and green are called by the same name...!?


How did I not know till yesturday(why isn;t there a shorter word for that anyway)(like yest)
that Jesus was the Greek name for Joshua which means the Lord Saves?

mouth says "insert foot"

i would like to thank everyone for forgiving or ignoring me everytime i say something rude or stupid, sometimes we're talking like 10 times a day...

while I'm at it-

Does anyone really believe in Quantum Physics anymore?


Who are these people? Do they exist? you know mr and mrs. jones that everyone is trying to keep up with. I think maybe they don't exist- I was thinking that every shiny happy couple and family I personally know who has lots of shiny happy moments in their lives also has Real Life stuff like:
money issues
marrital issues
health issues
inlaw family issues
mental issues
plain-old issues
messy house, winter blahs, lost the wallet, flat tire, where are my glasses?

And good for them- welcome to life-
If ever I meet someone whose got it all A Little Too Together, I think hmmm...
sorry its true

Skinny Obsession

See the thing is, if we study Art we will learn from looking at paintings of the most beautiful women of the last jillion years that they had meat on them. meat on top, meat on bottom, etc. Why- that was beautiful because it represented health and nutrition to societies that had huge poverty and starvation issues... so the curvy women were sought after to reproduce because clearly they were well looked after... now we (as in N. America) live in different times ie. lots of obesity, mcdonalds etc. so now the 'model babe' is the skinniest chic around- to the point of the insane- now there are opposite issues like- lets barf our supper into the toilet..nice.
Anyway-why am I blathering on ?
Because today I was thinking how crazy it is that women want to look so skinny- like as if they spent the entire day doing hard labour and like they can't afford a milkshake... doesn't sound like fun to me... I am all for healthy lifestyle, but lets admit we all know some people who take the 'skinny' thing a bit far... frankly you look like a 10 year old.
its sortof sad

baby brain

um... i am the one who gets to say ' sorry, i have baby brain'.. not you. please don't tell me I have baby brain- so in other words you think I am a little dumb.
its the same with PMS- I get to say 'sorry , I have PMS'...not you. by pointing out I have PMS you are telling me that you don't think my mood or opinion is valid at this time because it is only in response to hormones.


This word used at the right time is magnific'- hopefully it is spelled correctly

Praise to Hubby

yes I am writing a positive blog about my hubby
because he already filed his taxes
this is a Big deal
you don't want to know what happened last year
Yay- hubby for doing it differently this year...

see thing is Hubby comes from 'always late' family
I come from 'always early' family- (i mean early)...like no 'on time' stuff...

I have nightmares from my childhood trying not to be late...really.

Maybe they need to relax

Dear Public Health Nurse with No Children

I am sure you are right- my daughter is 'big' for her age, I am sure you are right she doesn't 'need' more than 2 cups of milk a day, I am sure that big needle you just jammed into her arm will be forgotten, I am sure that she is well able to sleep alone without her mother and yes- I am sure that she should...
But Darling Nurse sans Motherhood
Its not all about 'need' is it...
Sometimes in Life there is this thing called 'want'...
And when baby gets what baby 'wants'
There is peace...
And thats what I 'need'

thats why I was rude and questioned whether or not you were a parent-

Ok- i feel bad that I am overly pointing out that this nurse had no children.. I am sure there are many nurses w/o kids that are pretty aware of what it is to parent..but (oh brother- this is getting wordy- almost blahblah)

Speaking from experience- before I had a kid- I had no idea no comprehension not the faintest clue of parenting issues and responsibilities..I am an only child (sortof- thats another blog) and have never babysat- i worked at a daycare once for 3 days and quit- infact I can honestly say I don't think i liked kids- unless they had Autism...
So when I was pre pregnant and I would fantacize about child rearing- it was pretty clear...It was like, spank spank, discipline, ignore, plan, schedule, control, spank spank, feed, hug, organize,spank..(i think you get the pic)...(well, and maybe some people do parent like this)

But see once I had a kid- it was like, Oh, I really love this thing, I really want to bond with her, i really want to be the most awesome loving mom ever, oh, I hate planning my day, I hate being scheduled, I want to enjoy this baby, Oh, its not easy to spank, Oh, she thinks its funny when I spank, Oh, she is inlove with her mom, yadayadayada

So if that made sense? point is
It changed Big time for me...and I am pretty sure it does for many people...

the thing about being 'Christian'

is we are sappose to be nice- and friendly- to everyone, everywhere
even our enemies, telemarketers, in-laws, nemesissi, fingerpointers, meanies, dummies, self-righteous poops, politicians, hurters and haters of all sorts... this is the plight and command for each and every decided Christian.

I am a work in progress... and it seems, so are you!

Christmas socks

Why- please tell me why- everytime i go to take a boot off- i see santa, or frosty the snowman... why when out a social gathering do i hide my feet under the table- incase one should see these striped yuletide cankers in july?

Thank you everyone who buys me socks.... at christmas... because I do indeed need socks- and the ones given are the only ones I ever where... to my dismay

You don't even want to know

MIX- one high maintenance light sleeping female- one light sleeping hungry bottle eating1yr.old- one snoring male with chronic pain-
what do you get? sleeping Haides

You don't even want to know what the last 2 years has been like around these parts-
the amount of beds used- mattresses added- cribs tossed- pillows bent- curtains drawn- drugs taken-music played-bottles made- cursing whispered...

Yes I am still trying- No I'm not optimistic.

feel sorry for me

This is about Hope

I will not write about my baby all the time... cause when it comes to writing in the Blogworld I would rather banter about other things... But Let It Be Known for past or future blogs- for whatever I do or do not write- say or impose- that
As far as my natural life
Nothing is more positive and shiny and sparkly and fantastic then my baby.
Nothing is better or more rewarding
Nothing compares
Hope has a smile with 8 teeth right now. a smile that reaches beyond any level to me. She is 'pure sunshine' to me (stealing from Sharmilla).
The Lovliest Love I've ever known


I believe that our relationships are our mirrors. For good or ill. If you can't stand anyone- if everyone sucks big time except you-.. then maybe you've got a problem.


sometimes outwardly we appear to be changing- but inwardly nothing has changed- it is possible to a degree.
I love Autism... hmm- that doesn't sound right. I am challenged by those living with Autism. I love the unexpected behaviors and personalities in the spectrum of Autism.
Today is a snowy rekindle of winter. I am home with adoring baby. I am pretty tired and feeling off. I am getting tests done soon to see if something is actually wrong with me- or if well- its just life and my body...
Had a dream last night I was writing an exam to get into heaven.. and I did not pass- brutal.

this is not the beginning

I have been fantacizing for so long about creating a blog that is not anonymous...I have one that is and well it has its pro's and cons...so this will be the muted version but hopefully still honest. By the way- Sometimes I spell things incorrectly and since I am not getting marked on this -I don't care- Also- I change subjects quickly- i will comfort myself knowing very few people will read this...
up to date
I am 31- I have a 1yr. old- I am married-I live in the burbist burbs.
I have an opinion about too much and very well could be wrong- that doesn't usually stop me.