Some news:

-I've been able to pin down the fear for my daughter
She went to school today
I've discovered that as long as she didnt need to take the bus, she was willing to go.

-another boy I look after has become really aggresive, which actually makes me happy because I don't think my son is so crazy anymore. Actually he's been exceptionally sweet latley.

- God answers prayers. Sometimes in very odd or difficult ways, but he does and I am so grateful for that.

- I've had enough Mommy Stress and Mommy Guilt for a life time already. Today I was reading a nice little thing someone had posted that is written to make us better parents. And you know what, I didn't want to hear it at all. I'm so emotionally exhausted from this week. I am doing and giving my best. I am not perfect. I will make mistakes. I too, have to survive parenthood, and all those "Good Mommy Posters, do not make me better. They make me feel more guilt.
Ill just tell you
The sign said
"Your Voice becomes Your Childs Inner Voice"
Sounds nice
But then it's like
Ok, so I guess I'm not suppose to tell
I guess I'm not suppose to be sharp or impatient
I am sappose to be a paradigm of Light and Goodness. A god.
I am not.
And either is life.
And this is what I am saying:
Sometimes in life there is a time to run and not walk
There is a time to yell and not whisper
There is a time to fight and not bow
There is a time to cry
To freak out even
Seriously People
This is Life
This is no picnic of strawberries and marshmallows
This is pull up your boot straps.
So, I confess,
I yell
I yell to hurry up
I yell when I'm not being listened to
I yell when the stove is hot
Friends, it gets even uglier than that.
Ok. That's the truth
Things can get right crazy around
Because folks, I've got limits.
I have boundaries.
I have goals for my kids.
I have a standard.
Which I am willing to Fight for.
 It's worth the fight
That's what I think
It's worth the difficulty and the flying feathers
I'm not here to impress other moms(although sometimes that's what it feels like)
I'm not even here to bend to my kids every whim
I'm not here to blend in with my neighbours
I'm here for God and God alone.
And God is telling me that
Sometimes I am wrong
Sometimes I need to change
And so,
Sometimes my kids also need to know
Sometimes they are wrong
Sometimes they need to change

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