Someone elses time
In this day and age, it is pretty obvious that Time is very important. People seem to have no extra time. People do not want to waste Time. One reason of coarse is that Time is Money. But there are other reasons. Time is Family. Time is Salvation. Time is a gift . Time is very expensive because we can't buy time. We all plan our days. Even moms have plans and their time matters. Their time is not only their time, it is also their childrens time. Which brings me to my daily AhhhhhH! so I was looking after the neighbor girl. Her dad was 2 hours late picking her up! No explanations. Today she was to be here at 9, I received a text at 10 saying she wasn't coming. No apologies! Wow hey! See that is all so not ok. Made even more difficult because it's my neighbors. Some people are not Time people, I say bull! Those same people make it to job interviews on time, and arrive at the airport on time. The fact is if we do not respect other peoples time then we don't respect them. You cannot possibly say that you appreciate or respect someone and then in turn disrespect their time.
Freedom of speech
Freedom of religion
Today my blood is racing
I am honestly not a political person I don't think. But Alberta politics right now is just crazy! Any yahoo has the right in this free and fair land to say and believe whatever they want. If they think all practicing homosexuals are going to hell then that is his business. If some gay priest comes along and says that only gay people are going to heaven then that is also his business. It is a free land. I am allowed to disagree with homosexuality, and you are allowed to be a homosexual or whatever else. I cannot believe the Craziness here about what some pastor said on his blog. It's like a holy war here. People are allowed to be Christian. They are allowed to say they think Mohammed was off his rocker if thy want. They are allowed to say they don't believe everyone is going to heaven. You are allowed to say that Christians are wrong. Or whatever else you want to say.And just because someone likes to wear cowboy boots doesn't make them a racist small minded hater. Ok got to go
The only tea worth buying
4 o clock
Organic
And
Fair trade
And
Cheap
And available always at
Superstore
And
The best flava!
Doubledare
Dare I get political. I dare not. Well, maybe I dare. All I know is there seems to be a growing Movement that asserts anyone that isn't Radically Liberal must of coarse be a Radical. Honestly the political flavor I dislike the most is that of the pot smoking, low pant wearing, 30 something, that still thinks it's cool and smart and interesting just to be a rebel for the sake of rebellion. Flaming liberalism with no actual basis or plan for intelligent political management. Truth is, I don't vote. I don't vote because I feel I don't have the whole story ever. I had a friend once, an artist he was. Raised by a very wealthy man who put him through a decade of art school. And still after everything that was handed to him still wanted more money and support from the government.!? What world are these people living in?..this is not the garden of Eden people. Sometimes we don't get what we want. Actually I think everyone should run as an independent. There would be no parties and no confusion. Nothing is worse then voting for a moron just to support a party . I think Nenshi did the right thing. I could keep writing but then I would prove more of my ignorance.
How it went down
They were fighting
I took Hope into timeout
I said
Why are you so angry
She said
I feel it in my heart
Already she knows where the problem lies
Later they were arguing again
I said -is there a problem
Yes mom-she said- there is something wrong with my heart
Sometimes we parents like to tell ourselves our kids don't know don't understand can't be held responsible. But when I see my daughter I reckon they are just as wise as us. Just as wise as we allow them to be. Just as spiritual as we give them credit for.
Hannah
Have you met Hannah!?
Hannah is my daughters imaginary friends
That's right friends
Her husbands name is Hannah Tomlinson
Her daughters name is Hannah
Her friends are all named Hannah except for Teeny
Not sure where the name even came from
When she was a baby I called her Hanney
Maybe that's where
Pretty scarf
Seeing you last week
Made me realize
Better
What your burden is
I feel bad
That I hadn't really Seen it till then
(even now I am sure I don't really get it)
How do you remain a giver?
I feel bad that I have complained about hair loss
Or about not feeling very good
I feel somehow guilty
That it is you and not me
Daughter
Today when the preschool teacher said that
You loved art so much and you could do it all day
I just wanted to cry
Not out of joy or pride
No no
Out of pity
Poor you daughter of mine
As I think you are gonna be too much like me
Would love to spend my days pasting puttering painting
And do from time to time
But have yet to discover a way to make the pleasant work of art become work of pleasant income
Dear daughter
Study chemistry and dentistry
Engineering and math
Pls refrain from any dreamy attempts at life
Save yourself the agony
Some people have loved one person and they married that person.
Some people pretend they have only loved one person and they married that person
Some people have probably never really loved another person and remain wondering about these things
Some people I am sure get married to someone they love and then find they have feelings for someone else. That is scary stuff. I say run. Move. Change anything to remove yourself from that person. Pray for help. Deliverance.
Some people have loved others before in different ways.
I am one of those people.
I would be lying if I said I never felt something for someone else before.
The reason I am writing this is it's on my mind as I also dreamt about an ex last night. I dreamt I loved them. But then the dream turned into a nightmare as the story progressed the same way the relationship did. It reminded me again of all the different kind of "Loves" there are. I am no Master of Love but I will think of some:
Godly Love
Brotherly Love
Universal Love
Motherly Love
Puppy.I.Love.You.so.Much.I.Want.To.Scream
Teenage I love you so much I'm gonna cry
Your so cute I want to barf Love
Your so funny and smart I want to barf Love
I love you like a friend Love
I used to lust after you but now I don't Love
And the worst :
I love you so much I can't shake you even though I should Love
That one I don't even know if it should be called "Love" but that's what it feels like.
The best Love to marry I think is:
I trust you. Know you. Know you are the one. See your faults. Act like myself. Peace Love
Anyway. Whatever loves you have known may not be as I have known. My neighbor is In a very contolled marriage where she is not allowed to talk about an ex ever. Like as if she never had an ex. I have had exes. That's life. I even really cared about them. That's life. I am so glad that my future included none of them. I was glad
To awaken out of my love romance nightmare to my still sick husband making pancakes with his kids. Thank you Deliverance.
Far away
I dreamt I saw you again last night. You were working at an Amos and Andes store. I was trying on wool socks. I said you looked so tiny. I said I was sorry because I didn't come to the funeral. I said I had a good feeling about everything you were going through. Your girls were so cute.
Funny
You should have seen the look on my husbands face when I told him I wasn't really interested in losing weight anymore because it's too trendy!
Actually I am getting bored with the whole thing. I am at 162. So I think I lost one pound in 5 weeks. Yipee!!
Look out Demi Moore!!
Also
Sorry that last post sounded sort of negative. Truth is right now in this exact moment I couldn't feel more positive about life. Presently my daughter is outside swallowing fresh falling snow. This isn't just any snow. These are the BiggestFlakesofTheYear .. They are falling so hard and so fast it's like we are drowning in beautiful whirling wonderment. I am so thank full right now for a backyard In a free country with healthy kids.
I wouldn't call myself outdoorsy. I don't hike or ski or skate or run or swim. I am not even remotely interested in marathons or son boarding or skidding or water skiing. But I am outdoorsy in that I love to go outside. I love to sit on my deck or walk in grass. I love to Stare at the clouds and wonder at the wind. I love storms. My neighbors think I am crazy. There I am no matter what weather sitting outside. Just sitting. Just existing. No matter what the mood; it's always better outside. I especially love my south facing fully windowed kitchen. My geraniums are literally 3 ft tall. K it's so snowy right now I almost lost my child. Good thing I can hear her.today we strung buttons. My mom had given me her life collection of buttons and right now they are pretending to be a chandelier... Pretty cute actually. Today I also looked after the neighbor girl for the day.. Last time she was in my care she dropped the F Bomb twice! Ya that was nice..so she is a bit of work, but actually it's good for me. Anywy babbling here.. Got to go
Urban
What school did you go to?
I know I've talked down this topic before
But it remains on my mind
School
Children amoung children
Teens amoung teens
I marvel when parents are nonchalant about their kids in school. I marvel because obviously their experiences were not like mine
I can remember often being asked to sit in the hall in grade 2. Me and my teacher didn't get along . Her name was mrs.potter. I can remember getting in a fight in grade 3. I can remember all the girls in grade 5 had to get together because there were so many fights between us all.
I can remember the 2 cool boys in grade 5 and 6 who ran a business where they were Molesters.I can remember we had to walk to the bathroom in twoes because there was real creeps spotted outside. I can remember great big meanies in the after school program.
I can remember grade 7 and one of my friends whose dad tried to strangle her with the blow dryer and she showed up at school with the burns around her neck.I can remember when S got depressed after H dumped him and he stabbed himself in the guts numerous times. I can remember visiting him in the hospital. I can remember when JL got out of jail for pimping.. That's right Pimping. Jl was a female. I can remember when she came to school with
No hair because some gang peeps had cut all her hair off. I can remember going to our friends house and skipping school in the afternoons to get drunk. Yes grade 8 was full of alcohol. Of coarse that was exactly what the school dance was for.. Drinking. This is obviously when I started smoking. I can remember twice in 2 months that some beef butches wanted to kick my butt for some dumb reason(maybe I already told this story) (anyway i got out of it) I remember that's when Gigs were fun. All of my closest Friends lost their virginity by grade 10. I can remember when Chris decided I got out of my place and put a fist to my face and threatened to bash it in if i didn't get on my knees and beg for forgiveness and promise to keep my mouth shut. That was the year my boyfriends cousin died at the bar. That was the year my mom took H to the hospital for stitches after her boyfriend through a glass bottle at her. That was when K dropped out because S was threatening to kick her ass. That's when I met O. The first time i laid eyes on him he was fighting outside our school. Neither of them went to school of coarse. They had both recently gotten out of jail. That year J and K both tried to kill themselves and R just talked about it all the time.
This is just a very short version of my school years. It is all true and makes me very very afraid for my kids.
Can't believe we never lost our rings
Happy 5 years
That's right 5 years
Ups and downs
Chaos and calm
Sickness and health
Ugly ugly and lovely
Never another
2 houses and an apartment
2 kids and a faithful cat
2 cars and 2 more
Lots of jobs and more grey hairs
Weight loss gain loss gain
Zero real vacations
Lots of discussions
Many many prayers by us and others
Piles of forgiveness by us and others
Still we are and will always be absolutely a match Made in Heaven.
I have never doubted that.
I have doubted you
And I have doubted me
But never heavens choice...
If you weren't presently lying in bed ill with Man Flu, if baby wasn't presently Sick with baby Flu maybe we could actually do something fun. But, looks like our anniversary is gonna show just like our life: real.
Really real.
Marriages don't delete.
Ultra Yikes
Just read an article about
After-Birth Abortions
I am sure you can guess my thoughts on any abortion
But what I find sickly fascinating is their philosophy that justifies the killing. These "doctor/philosophers" suggest that because the new born would not actually perceive a loss to itself if it died then I is not a person and can be killed because the mother is a person and should be able to choose if the Childs life is too burdensome for their life. So my next thought is; other than the obvious is
With that philosophy in tact maybe we should kill all of the dementia folks or autistics or comatose etc. These people may not experience a loss to themselves if they died, does that mean they are not Persons? And at what age in their mind does a baby become a person. My 6 month old probably could be considered not a person. Why is it murder if you kill your baby in a night rage and not murder if you methodically kill your newborn in the hospital when it comes out. One of the arguments they have for murder is that sometimes a person does not know they will have a Downs Syndrome baby until it is born, so mothers should have the right to kill it then as they would have the right to kill it in the womb had they have known it was Downs.
Are morals ever to be based upon convenience ? Why not give it up for adoption if it's so terrible? I don't have all the words and brains to beat this topic to the ground today. I just want to say that Doctors/Clinics/Hospitals can call it Pregnancy Management, they can make you feel o so clean and right about "Choosing".. But the truth is that it is murder. Ugly ugly murder.
A little marika in da house
Just got a note from a friend I new when I lived on the island.. I met some super sweet people out there. Actually I have been meaning to write this post for a while.. It goes like this::
What I miss about Victoria:
I miss the smell
The humidity
The sound of the rain all winter long
The beach -obviously
The way the culture feels out there
The uncompetitive, slowed down feel
The walking everywhere
The "o, you all live in one small apartment-great! the "o- you can only afford a cup of tea- o well- let's share"! The early blossoms
The always green
The let's hang out
Where my sister was born and lives
Easy friends
Wonderment
Funny my husband also lived on the island when he played hockey.. We are going there together next month!! Yay!
I'm sorry, but have we met?
So this is nothing new. But feels new to me today:
We are not today who we were yesterday.
Here's my attempt; my gift I will try to give you.
Yesterday. 10yrs ago.
You may have been a jerk
You may have been something ugly
You may have seemed this or that
But today I want to give you the chance to be free: to be new;
If you are again who you were. That's ok. Tomorrow I want you to know that
It's a new day.
In theatre school the worst thing for an actor was to be "typecast".. Where you were always cast as the same type of character. It was a problem because it could ruin your career; people would not see who else you could be. The worst judgement I am thinking today, is not judgements of the day, but gross assumptions based on yesterday.. How can we change and be better Christians, mothers, friends if people think they have already figured us out and that people don't change? Because people do change. They change with experience, with time, with God. In fact they must change. We must all change . So why not make it easier on each other. I know I am the first to "typecast". But today I am thinking life could be even more interesting if we allowed people to surprise us, or even just gave them more than one chance..like how about a million chances? How does that sound. Isn't that what God is doing for us? My favorite thing is being surprised by a person (not like boo! Or yikes) like " wow I thought that chic was such a cow, and she's actually really sweet".. Or how about if someone does act like a cow that we just assume that they are really fantastic deep down but they are going through something. One thing I know is no matter how hard I try, someone some where will be offended ; maybe rightfully so, maybe not.. I am so glad for people that have given me chance after chance after chance..
That's it for now, chin up newby!
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