when you see the really small things
the furthest star or the tiniest snowflake
the iddy biddiest wings of a strange little bug
when the cosmos are clearly beyond our wildest comprehensions
when bomb-blast clouds makes us realize maybe for one tenth of a secound that
we human creatures are so small
smaller than we think we are
smaller than we can possibly imagine
smaller than dust of dust
minute
and yet
cataclysmicly ornate and detailed
how can these things be?
moments when it is almost like you can see things down to the molecular level
the cells, mitochondria
moments when really we know for sure that it is a pure miracle
that we breathe
and see
moments when we behold the perfect artistic architecture of the the human form
when all the birds and undiscovered fish in the ocean add up to a whole lot of stuff that we know nothing about
i hereby admit and confess with every ounce of what I understand to be MySelf
that i know very very little
I know when I am hungry and when I am sad
but when it comes to science and economics and politics and creation itself
I stand and fall a fool
the one thing I try to learn more of
the one thing that I think actually matters
is to know God
and yet even that
even that honestly is such a mystery to me
I try and beg and hope and believe
but really i barely grasp
i don't know how i ended up on this planet
sometimes I am unsure what to do on this planet
i don't even know when I am going to leave this planet
I am a creature who wonders a lot.
Sometimes I know the Spirit
for sure
Sometimes I know the Son
but really moments of truth and realization and revelation are often quickly
dissolved by a struggle of confusion and burden and selfishness
and so it onward goes
to discovery
not in vain
though I am a wretch and poor and blind and naked
though I wrestle with ugly cruel beasts of human nature and dark bits from the other side
it onward goes
may my iddy biddy self continue to wonder
till wonderment becomes
sure pleasantness and peace
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