off to the races
2012 is already proving itself to be rather interesting
i am actually some what hesitant as to what the year will bring
2011 was so good - feels like i was perched high- wonder about falls you know?
anyway
new years eve my grandma had a heart attack
and some other family stuff is going on
today my neighbour came over and basically confessed to me that she is searching for peace and God
interesting no?

but mostly the last week i have been suffering in parental binds
and for anyone who does not have a child
or a child with a will
please just skip over
because you have no idea.

my precious daughter is essentially a 17 yr old trapped in a almost 4 body
she has no fear of any possible reprove including things not accepted by social services
this kid has a willllll. probably inherited by either one of her overly intense parents
either way latley i am just BOGGED down in not knowing how to parent.
to me latley
parenting just feels like a crap shoot( i dont even know what that means except like basically anyway you look at it you cant win) i am actually beginning to fear my child
today on the way to my parents
i thought my daughter feel asleep
and i said to my husband
oh my goodness she's a slleep - sweet heavenly bliss!
and then she woke up and made some comment and
i was like oh my goodness she is like Chucky
(for all you who dont know Chucky was like this scarry horror film doll)
i feel like she is so smart and can be so good and she is so social and gets bored so easily
but she has no fear. this past week i have thrown out numerous items over "not Listening"
now i realize i am gonna need to stop that so now we are just taking things away for a day or two or there will be nothing left ( i cant afford that)
i know parenting is probably a really boring subject for most readers and that is fine. this is who  i am. i am a boring mother who is trying to parent my child and i desperatly fear having a disobedient child. why? because i love her.
love without discipline is not love
anyway. i am rambling.
advice accepted unless never tried first hand.